WINTER? It must be time for a bit of sledging...

The following examples of good sportsmanship and gentle banter were shamelessly ripped off a number of other (ie: better!) cricket blogs. I make no apology as I'm a rock-hard keyboard warrior. Come and have a go etc . . .

As Ian Botham took guard in an Ashes match, Rod Marsh welcomed him to the wicket: "So how's your wife and my kids?"


Daryll Cullinan showed an astonishing lack of respect to the legend that is Shane Warne. As Cullinan was on his way to the wicket, Warne told him he had been waiting two years for another chance to humiliate him. "Looks like you spent it eating," replied Cullinan.

This one appears to have been said by every cricketer to every opponent, but the earliest example I've found is Glenn McGrath's splendid exchange with Zimbabwean batsman Eddo Brandes: "Hey Eddo, why are you so fucking fat?" Eddo Brandes: "Because everytime I f*ck your mother, she throws me a biscuit."

Javed Miandad called Merv Hughes a fat bus conductor at Adelaide in 1991. A few balls later Merv dismissed Javed."Tickets please," Merv called out as he ran past the departing batsman.

No querying the veracity of this one, it was picked up by a stump mic. Ian Healy's verdict on Arjuna Ranatunga's request for a runner: "You don't get a runner for being an overweight, unfit, fat c*nt!"

James Ormond had just come out to bat on an ashes tour and was greeted by Mark Waugh: "F*ck me, look who it is. Mate, what are you doing out here, there's no way you're good enough to play for England." James replied: "Maybe not, but at least I'm the best player in my family."

Another quality Aussie put-down of the unfortunate Ranatunga. Shane Warne, trying to tempt the batsman out of his crease mused what it took to get the fat man to get out of his crease and drive. Wicketkeeper Ian Healy piped up with "Put a Mars Bar on a good length. That should do it."

Ravi Shastri v the Aussie's 12th man. Shastri hits it to the sub and looks for a single. 12th man gets the ball in and roars "If you leave the crease I'll break your f*cking head." Shastri, unbowed fires back: "If you could bat as well as you can talk you wouldn't be the f*cking 12th man."

Malcolm Marshall was bowling to David Boon who had played and missed a couple of times. Marshall : "Now David, are you going to get out now or am I going to have to bowl around the wicket and kill you?"

Fred Trueman bowling. The batsman edges and the ball goes to first slip and right between Raman Subba Row's legs. Fred doesn't say a word. At the end of the over, Row ambles past Trueman and apologises sheepishly. "I should've kept my legs together, Fred". "Not you, son, but your mother should have," he replied.