Calippo . . . a tasty summer ice-lolly, or a dead give-away you're a shirt-lifter?!

WARNING: VERY BAD LANGUAGE FOLLOWS!!!

This is very cruel, but deserves a wider audience.

If it had happened to me I'd have kept schtum and never breathed a word. Unluckily for Headliners senior batsman PB, he blabbed!

As a spindly 13-year-old PB was enjoying an afternoon of county cricket at Sussex's historic Hove ground. It was hot. He was a little lad. So he spent 25 pence of his pocket money on an ice-lolly. He chose the colourful and sugary Calippo.

So far so good. Happy lad sets off to return to his seat to enjoy the game.

With unfortunate timing, young PB passes the beer tent just as a few slightly worse for wear geezers stagger out in to the open air.

Our young hero's sunny disposition quickly evaporates when one of the drunken ne'er-do-wells catches sight of him giving a lusty slurp to his Calippo, points accusingly and bellows:

"COCK SUCKER!!!"

The hoodlums fall about, killing themselves laughing.

Poor PB, in deep shock, bins the remainder of his gay lolly and, his day ruined, goes home.